Friday, October 05, 2007

Parenting

Parenting sucks sometimes. Gah! I don't know how I'm going to survive the teenage years with Allie. I've considered just locking her in her room and home schooling her. But.. I really don't think that is a viable option. Sometimes I just wish she would actually listen to what I'm saying and believe that I am telling her the truth. Yeah, I know it is some sort of teenage disability that makes them think their parents are just old and wrong, and I also know that she will make mistakes and hopefully LEARN from them. But it is a very painful process to actually witness and participate in.

I do now understand why my mom wouldn't let me go to an Aerosmith concert when I was 14 or 15 years old with some friends and one of their uncles or something. It was the end of the world for me - I vowed that I would never do such a thing to my children.

Yet, when Allie asked me if she could go to the WEBN Fireworks with Vanessa, Vanessa's mom, and Vanessa's aunt... uhhh hell no.


"That's a drunk fest and you have no business going down there."


"But.. Mo-om... her mom and her aunt are going. You can talk to them."


"I really don't care who is going. You are not."


"You are ruining my life!" - screams as she goes to her room to throw her temper tantrum.


Well. Someone has to. :) And no, I didn't say that to her. Nor am I trying to... I'm trying to prevent it. She just doesn't know that yet.


I went to the WEBN Fireworks when I was 16. Did my parents know? Heck no. (Uhhh, sorry Mom. You can no longer ground me.) And that is the only time I have been. The fireworks are beautiful. But, yeah, it's a drunk fest. (And no, I didn't drink.) So, that is not a place that I'm letting my daughter go.

It is also very hard to watch them make mistakes. Yet, I'm kinda learning that they are not perfect, and they are going to make mistakes, and that is how most people learn, isn't it? I just have to hope and pray that they are smart enough not to make any really big mistakes.

I'm still learning as well. I took a leap and got both the girls cell phones 2 years ago. Neither of them still have the ones that I got them. One was left outside in the rain, the other was washed in the washing machine. When they begged for new phones? No. I told them to save their money and get it themselves.


IPods. Jeff (and I stress JEFF because I did not want any part of buying IPods for them due to their proven irresponsibility with the phones) decided to get them IPods for Christmas last year. Do either of them still have it? No. One was lost at school, the other was washed in the washing machine.


Do you see a pattern here? Obviously they have not learned to empty their pockets prior to washing clothes.


So, last night I picked Allie up from her volley ball game and she tells me she has a detention today (Friday).

"What for?"

"I forgot a worksheet in my locker and I ran out of passes to go and get it."

"You get a certain number of passes to go and get something from your locker?"

"Yeah, we get 3."

"So, why can't you learn to remember after the first or second time? This is the 4th time you have forgotten? When are you ever going to start learning from mistakes instead of repeating them over and over?"

"Well, I didn't use all 3 for going to my locker - sometimes I had to use the bathroom."

"So now, if you have to go to the bathroom, you're not allowed?"

"No, but it is almost the end of the first semester, so I will get 3 more for the next semester."

I swear, some of the new rules at the schools are so stupid, it amazes me.

So, anyway, when I was driving Conor to the sitter's this morning, he was telling me how good he was yesterday - all day. He has not really been bad at the baby sitter's house, but there have been some issues with him and another little boy wanting to wrestle around and do "boy" stuff. The sitter doesn't like that because she is afraid someone will get hurt, so she is constantly having to tell them to stop.

So every morning when I am getting my daily hug and kiss goodbye from Conor, I remind him to be good and that there are other little kids there and we don't want anyone to get hurt. Today, when he told me he was good all day yesterday he added, "I learned my lesson and I'm going to be good all the time now."

Conor was not home when Allie and I were having our conversation last night, so him saying that was very coincidental.

I find if quite funny that my 4 year old can learn from "mistakes," yet my 14 year old has problems with it. :)

1 comment:

mom said...

14-17 are very trying years with teenage daughters. I remember that age. Not fun. Here to help. Call me.