Being Neighborly

Suburbia. I really didn't think it would be that bad. I am a friendly, easy to get along with person, so I never imagined that I would have any problems with living in Suburbia. I was wrong. When we first moved in, we did not have any neighbors, their houses were still being built. We had met both of our neighbors at different times when they were visiting their houses during the construction phase, and on both sides of us seemed to be great neighbors. To the South of us we have a couple that had just gotten married and she has a boy - 3 or 4 years younger than Allie. To the North of us is an older couple, retired, who appeared very nice.

When Bob and Carol first moved in, they had a dog - Penny. They did not have grass however, because the builder had not had the opportunity to lay the sod. Penny did not like to "do her business" in the mud, so they asked if she could use our yard. I certainly didn't have a problem with that, it wasn't going to hurt anything. Bob and Carol were very nice, always chatting with me when we were all outside. Penny passed away not long after they had moved in, though, and they did not get another pet.

Then we got our first dog - Teddy. We rescued him from a dog shelter and to this day, he is still hesitant about meeting new people. He is a very good dog, house broken, good with the kids. Since he is a house dog, and we do not have a fence, we put him outside periodically throughout the day. The leash that I had gotten at first was a bit too long, and he was able to reach Bob and Carols back yard. He didn't do any real damage, just messed up some of the mulch surrounding one of their trees. I had come home at lunch time one day and Carol showed me where he had messed the mulch up and asked that I shorten his leash. I even wrote a blog about it... if you go back to last year. I was extremely apologetic, I shortened the leash immediately, and I even got them a gift basket to apologize.

Then a few months later, Carol stopped me outside one day and said that Teddy had been using the bathroom on her tree - and that it was turning it brown. I told her that Teddy could not reach her tree - and that even if he could, he did not yet lift his leg to pee. So I did not feel that it was him that was doing the damage to her tree. I was very nice about it, I even showed her that the leash did not reach her yard. During this very conversation, a stray dog walked up to her tree and peed - right on the brown area. So, my dog was free from suspicion, or so I thought.

While I was in Florida, Jeff had gone out and bought a new leash - just one, because we have tried to do 2 and let them out together, but they always get tangled together and it was a headache to get them apart. When he called to tell me about it, the very first thing I said was, "Make sure the dogs can NOT reach Bob and Carol's yard." He said that he had.

The Monday following my return from Florida, I called a local fence company to set up an appointment to get an estimate on a fence. They were coming out on Tuesday to take the measurements and give me the estimate. Monday afternoon, our network went down at work, so I was sent home to work from there. When I walked up to my door, there was a note left on it - from Carol, of course. "Kate - will you please shorten your dog's leash, he has been in my yard and messed up my mulch." Signed - Bob and Carol and other neighbors. I was irritated by it, and went directly to the back yard to check the measurement of the leash - to make sure Jeff had shortened it. I walked it as far as I could towards her yard and it did not come close. We had a shed built last year, and they could not reach past the shed - and we have a few feet past the shed that is still our property. So, having verified that they could not reach, I put Teddy out first. I started working on my computer - which is in my bedroom, right next to the window. After a little bit, I went to let Teddy in and put Zeus out, then returned to working.

Through my window I could hear Carol saying, "Get! Get! Shooo!" so I looked out the window to see what she was doing and I see her spraying Zeus with a water hose! He was in MY yard, no where near her's, and it was enough to make me snap. I'd had enough of her false accusations and trying to be nice and ignore it. I opened my window and said, "Carol he is nowhere near your yard and you have no right to be spraying him with a hose while he is in MY YARD!"

"Well, he messed up the mulch around my trees here."

"No, he did not - the leash he is on does not reach your yard. It could have been some other animal in the neighborhood." I replied.

"Well, I'm home all day and I haven't seen any other animals in this area besides yours." she said.

"Well, I'm NOT home all day, and I HAVE seen other animals in this area besides mine. Did you see either of my dogs actually doing it?"

"Well, no, but it had to be them."

OK, stupid people really irritate me. I walked outside, walked Zeus over as far as I could stretch the leash and said, "See - he cannot reach your yard."

She replied once again, "It had to be him, there are no other animals in this area that could have done it."

My patience was gone at this point. I said, "Oh, please! Do you remember last year when you accused Teddy of making your tree turn brown?? And while you were telling me about it, ANOTHER dog walked up to that very tree and peed on that very brown spot. Do you remember that?"

"No, I don't remember that..."

"Well, it's a good thing there was a witness here besides you and me, then! I don't know what your problem is that you have to blame everything that goes wrong with your yard on my dogs, but they are not always to blame. When they did do something I apologized to you for it and did my best to make it up to you. I have tried to be a good neighbor to you, but I am tired of all of this. I initially thought you would be a good neighbor to live by, but boy was I wrong! I have an appointment to get an estimate for a fence tomorrow, so hopefully I will have a fence soon and I won't have to deal with you anymore."

"Well, good. I'm not going to stand here and argue with you about it."

And she walked away. I actually have not seen her since that day. I got the fence estimate, approved it, and it should be started any day now. They were a few weeks behind schedule when I got the estimate, but that was 3 weeks ago, so it should be ANY day. I can't wait!

I have honestly tried to be good neighbors, I have taken them baked goods when I make them, I have talked to them when I see them outside, she has even borrowed things from me before - Conor's high-chair when her grandson was over and she didn't have one. I do not know what has happened to make her all of a sudden not like us, or if she just is one of those people who like to complain about everything, but I'm done being "neighborly" to her. I'm glad the couple on the other side of us are good neighbors! We haven't had any problems with them at all. Their son plays with our kids, their dog has played with our dogs (stayed with us while they went on vacation), and they are always talking to or inviting Conor over to their yard to play if they are outside.

My experiences with Carol, however, make me want to flee suburbia ASAP!