One Year

One year ago, I was asleep in my bed with Lily sleeping next to me (it was a Friday night, so we had the girls) and I got the call.  It was just past midnight - so officially 3/18/17 - and my mom called to let me know that Jack had passed. Lily woke up, too, so I had to be the one to tell her that Poppy wasn't with us anymore. She wanted to go with me, but I hugged her and told her I would be back soon and she should go back to sleep. I got up and got dressed and went to be with Mom at hospice. To be honest, I don't remember if I got dressed or just wore my pajamas.

I held his hand, kissed his cheek, and said my goodbyes to him, I had just left there a few hours earlier.  I sobbed uncontrollably for a little bit.  Mom was the calm one.  She had been sleeping in the convertible chair next to his bed when the nurse woke her just after midnight to let her know, but we had been warned that it wouldn't be long.  He hadn't been awake since they had brought him there 5 days earlier.  We were supposed to have more time. 

The above picture was taken at my grandma's house on Christmas day. 

I miss him.  I think of him often - when I'm doing something he taught me to do, or if a song comes on the radio that he used to like. When I am just driving my old truck down the road.  I talk to him as if he's sitting there with me. It seems strange that he's been gone a year - it doesn't seem like it was that long ago.