OK, some of you may remember this from a few years ago - I think this was an email Jeff sent to some people. But I came across it and re-read it, and thought I would post it on my blog. :) I am not the author, but I am re-publishing it.... This was when Conor was a small, small baby.
Hi, Yeah it's me Conor,
I know what you're thinking, "How can a baby write e-mails or even use a computer?" Well it's not easy let me tell you, especially when I can't even hold my head up very well 7ugrhio;ioyu;sior SEE WHAT I MEAN!?! ... my head keeps falling down and hitting the keyboard. Plus I have a very limited vocabulary, as a matter of fact I don't really have a vocabulary at all, but this computer has a pretty good spell checker so it fixes my GOO when I really mean to say GAA.
I've been trying to think of what my first real word should be, you know it's a very important part of a baby's life, or so I gather. I have actually been talking all along but it seems as though that is not good enough for everyone. There's this real old guy who keeps saying DADA over and over in my ear and he won't get away, his beard keeps scratching my cheek, whenever I scream at him to get him away he just laughs at me. There's this lady, or it could be two of them, who keeps trying to get me to say MAMA. I haven't figured out if there is one or two of them because she holds her face really close to mine and it makes my eyes cross and then I lose my focus, it's quite disconcerting as you can imagine, but she or they sure is or are nice. There are also these two girls who both say their names are Sissy. One has brown hair and one has blond and it's all rather confusing, I just call them both AAARRrrraaahhhhggg and they don't seem to mind. tyjnhiugfh89rty9srt Sorry there goes my head again. I'm not really sure what my first word should be, but I think it might be BAABAA. It's rather strange I know to make a sound like a wooly animal just to get food, but someone is always asking me, "Do you want a BAABAA?" then next thing I know there's food.
That is an interesting topic, food. I don't know if you can really call it food, what they give me. At first it was kind of tasty this white stuff, but it is starting to get old. That ugly guy with the beard gave me something really delicious the other day, it was cold and white and creamy out of a container. Everyone else was eating it too, but those two ladies or lady shouted, "Don't give that baby I Scream." I'm sure I don't know what the big deal was, that stuff was really good, weird name though. Sometimes I like to suck on my fingers and I don't really know why but they taste pretty good. There is a blanket too that has a good flavor that has ducks all over it. I like to stare at this blanket because of the bright colors, it's very relaxing, but before I know it I am asleep again. I like to sleep when I am not eating.
I don't get out too much, I imagine the other Eskimos here at the North Pole don't either. The few times I've been outside there's all this cold white stuff everywhere and I wonder if it's I Scream. I sometimes wish I were born in Congo or Australia so I can go around naked all the time. I try to tell everyone this but they don't listen. They start to take off all my clothes but I never get to stay that way long. There's this blue thing that's filled with warm water I like to play in, but just when I get comfortable they drag me out of it and stuff me into some ridiculous thing with some class of a bear, puppy or amphibious creature on it. I yell and holler as loud as I can but they just don't get it. It's all quite embarrassing and tedious.
Most of the time I am looking at the ceiling, until I cry and someone's face appears. I like to make a game out of this when I get bored. I smile and coo and then pretend to go to sleep, then when no one is around I cry, and someone shows up. Everywhere I go I see these spinning things that blow air around and stick out of the ceilings. I went to this one place with the goofy guy who wears glasses and the ceiling was very high. There were bright colors everywhere and boxes of all kinds of stuff, I even saw someone my age there who was screaming and crying. He had a glazed look in his eyes and I started to cry too, but got to looking around and forgot all about it. When we were just getting ready to leave I saw a big silver thing with large bird with large yellow feathers, floating in the air and it made me really happy and I smiled and tried to talk to it. There was a long string attached to it and I knew I could never reach it. I hope I can go back again and see it someday.
Also I have been a couple other places. Sissy and Sissy call her Mimi and she is real nice. She plays music for me and she lets me sleep on a real soft bed. There is a cool blanket there too with black and white stripes that hypnotize me while I listen to classical music. I prefer Vivaldi as he is particularly soothing. I have been to Nana's as well. Her ceilings are really awsome, she has a square hole in her roof. I can watch the clouds float by while I listen to music from operas. She is nice too but she has an annoying habit of flashing bright lights in my face.
I am mostly a homebody though. I've got some really great plans of what I am going to do as soon as I figure out how to move my arms and legs around. I see stuff all over I can get into. There's this other guy who is older and even uglier then the guy with the beard. He keeps an eye on me in the mornings and gives me a bottle every now and then. He is really nice to me and he carries me around sometimes. One day he took me in front of the mirror and I saw myself. At first I thought it was another baby but I figured it out after awhile. I really am cute!! I was checking myself out and then the big jerk walked away from the mirror. I cried for awhile and then he gave me a bottle so figured I shouldn't complain.
Well everyone, I got to go. You can't imagine how hard it is to type this and it's time for my seventh nap anyway. Also I will probably have a little trouble proofreading this and getting the spell check to work so I'll sign off.
Love, Conor :)