Friday, February 05, 2010

Random Thoughts from 25-35 year olds

Someone (Mayo / workbud) sent me this in an email last year. I always intended to post it here, but... you know how much of a slacker I am! Anyway, now that I have to come up with 28 posts in 28 days, I'm looking for anything! So, here you go... some with comments. In parentheses and italics. Maybe. And no, I'm not running out of things to post. I'm pacing myself! ;)

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (This has never happened to me. >.> <.<)

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback. (Totally don't agree with this - I love Nickelback!)

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with? (Facebook... I am very select about the friends I have on there. I don't want hundreds of friends that I don't even talk to. If you're my friend and I haven't cared enough to scan over your postings or w/e? I just go on and delete you. That's why I have 31 friends. Soon to be 30 or less because I can think of two people right now I don't need on there.)

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font. (I heard on the radio that someone is trying to patent a sarcasm font, or something to indicate it anyway... hey, it was a while ago and my brain is full of other useless information so I don't remember it all perfectly!)

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that every one's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (This is not a question I ask. Because 1. I don't fold sheets, I put them on the bed right from the dryer. and 2. if I folded sheets, I already know how to fold fitted sheets. Maybe someday I'll do a demo. Probably not though. And yes, I do only have one sheet set for my bed currently. I remove them, wash them, put them back on. Saves from having to fold them. Shortcut!)

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (That's what kids are for! But really, they usually hop out of the car and run in the house and I'm left muttering "Thanks for the help, jerks!" and thinking of how I am going to hide all the stuff they picked out so they can't find it.)

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (I'm not worried about my computer history, but I was thinking the other day that I need to get with Danielle and make sure she knows where everything is hidden in my house that she needs to dispose of if anything were to happen to me. Not that I have any huge secrets.)

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. (!!! Don't text and drive!!! Is this a sign I'm old?)

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it. (Wait. I was always told that alcohol kills germs!)

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". (I disagree. lol - in lower case - means "I have nothing else to say." If they are capitalizing it? LOL - that means they are laughing. My opinion of course.)

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantrontest is absolutely petrifying. (When in doubt, pick c was always my go to.)

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? (Two is my limit. Sometimes only once if I realize that I don't care and they are not going to say it in a way I understand anyway.)

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? (They would take your money and go hang out together - on you.)

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. (Usually after lunch, that is if I even have work to do!)

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? (This happens to me a lot! Especially with Alli!)

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. (I recently started using the shuffle on my iPod - and I like it! I get to listen to music that I like, but I forgot I had.)

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time... (No doubt about it, I do it every morning!)

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text..

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (Wait. I'm 95% sure my freezer does have a light. So whoever wrote this has some 50 year old appliance that doesn't have a light. Maybe they should get with the times.)

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.


Mayo said...

Hmmm, if I originally sent this to you, I'm not sure it should count as an official post, since I did all the work, and you just did a copy/paste? I suppose the fact that you added "extra" comments justifies it to some extent, but maybe we should take a vote on this with your other blog readers.....?
Should K be given full credit for 2/5's posting?

Katie said...

HA! Yes, I should. It's more than copy/paste. I WISH blogger let me do that. When it copies and pastes, it does it as a block and I have to go through and reformat the whole thing. plus, the comments alone constitue a post. A picture counts as a post. There will be no vote.

Barb said...

I thought this was hilarious. If there would have been a vote, I would vote this is legit just because she opened the Blogger thingy and put words in it!
Keep up the good work Katie!